My leap of faith this summer: Going To Girls' Camp Again - it's been 30 years? How can that be when I'm only 40 years old?

Enjoying God's creations 

Hikes - walking, walking, walking

And of course the best -
no worries about hair,
make up, no worries.

Always a wonderful place:
the dining hall - gathering place 

Peace, quiet, solitude -
Feeling close to my Heavenly Father

These pictures are a sneak peak at our camp this year - awesome, huh?

My last year at camp was in Dallas, Texas in 1984.  Of course everything changed that year - Roger was diagnosed with Huntington's Disease, we moved to Corbin, KY, I went to work and cared for him.

I grieved.  I grieved because of his illness, because of the current changes in our lives, because of our future hopes and dreams that would not be realized.  I wrote about my grief... actually, I wrote pages and pages in my journal about my experiences working with the young women at church and specifically about my ten years - yes 10! - as either a girls camp director and/or stake young women's president attending girls camp.

My first camp was in Fort Wayne, Indiana in 1976.  I was forced to attend (not exactly) because no one else was "available."  So I went muttering all the way.

The next year I was in Kalamazoo, Michigan.  Three years of camp there.  Then Bartlesville, Oklahoma for three years . . . on to Little Rock, Arkansas and then Dallas Texas.  And although the places were different, the weather was different, the people had different names - but camp was just the same.  One of the highlights of my year, every year.

Roger was a wonderful husband.  He took vacation every year to be with the kids.  And if you ask Jason (my son) about camp and I . . . well let's just say, he thinks that I was obsessed with camp and thought about it day and night all year.

While at camp, the outside world was just that - outside.  Sure there was drama (girls, remember), there were tears, there were arguments, hurt feelings, bugs, bug bites, small injuries, unusual food when cooked over the fire by the girls, heat, sun, heat, sun, sweating, hiking.  Yeah - but there was laughing, singing, hugging, testimonies, campfire programs, skits, laughter, laughter, laughter, quiet, peaceful times, silent hikes, s'mores, banana boats (yes, I love the sweets), leaders trying to keep up with girls and loving every minute of it, a skunk at a testimony meeting, possums, raccoons, armadillos, snakes, tarantulas, all of which I consider some of the best parts of camp.

Visiting the camp yesterday reminded me of the real reason we have camp.  It is explained in the 2014 scripture theme for the youth:

“Come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness” (Moroni 10:32).

Camp is a wonderful place to start and continue this process.  I'm grateful to get to participate again after a 30 year hiatus.  Learn more about youth programs at this link:   https://www.lds.org/youth?lang=eng

TC - so glad we got to share "The Dance"

The Dancers:  TC  and Janice 

The Song:  "My Way"

The Dance:  Lasted over 11 years

Here's the story:

New single MSW graduate is finally leaving her tiny apartment to move into a duplex . . .

She gets to have a washer and dryer for the first time in six years . . . 

A friend recommends "Meadowthorpe Appliance Center". . . 

Upon entering the owner is sitting behind a desk that has a recliner sitting next to it . . . 

He gets up, quickly sells her a washer and dryer, but made her go get cash because it was a Saturday!

He tells her to sit in the recliner and AFTER he completes the sale he starts talking about Harlan . . . 

The uncle who raised him and her father worked in the Crummies Creek, KY coal mine in 1940 . . .

She has a picture of the miners . . . he does not . . . 

Oh, did I mention that they were 50 and 60 years old?  

I brought him a copy of the picture and the dance began!    

A major change in the steps of this dance took place in Pigeon Forge/Gatlinburg in the fall when we were married in a small chapel in the mountains - no friends or family present, he wore his pink shirt, jeans, and hat - yes, his hat - which he forgot to take off. A little nervous?  We both were and it was a huge leap of faith to continue the dance.  The laughter we shared was the best part of our dance.  I could tell when he was losing his cool, so I would dress up in a WWII hard hat, carry the small baseball bat, and walk toward him.  Trust me, he laughed! 


When I was feeling discouraged or stressed, he would take me to ... a cemetery.  Yes, really.  We visited the graves of everyone he had ever known who had died (I think).  We even went to Harlan to visit graves.  Frankfort cemetery was my favorite, just saying.  He loved it and I loved watching him love it!  Oh, and James Dean's grave ( felt like he and James were quite a bit alike).  


I didn't always do what he wanted and when I was "stubborn" he would sing.  A favorite line of his was "if you don't want me to be cold as ice, treat me nice."  Or he would sing "How Great Thou Art" one of my favorite songs . . . or "My Way" to remind me that things were supposed to be going his way not mine.  He wasn't Elvis, but he was the next best thing and he knew he could get my cooperation any time he sang.


We visited dinosaur land and the Ohio River in numerous locations.  We drove and drove and drove and he told stories about his life and he sang and we stopped and talked to strangers that he actually knew 30, 40, years ago.  They always remembered him. During the Sunday afternoons spent in Louisville on the river or at Clays Ferry by the Kentucky River it sometimes felt as if time stood still as we enjoyed the peace and quiet, the companionship, finding things to laugh about.  It was hard to go back home those Sunday evenings.

One Sunday I came home from church to find four couches in our house: two in the living room and two squeezed in the kitchen.  He had gone to an auction and couldn't resist... the eternal optimist when it came to buying and selling anything.

Against his better judgment we got a dog and named her Bridgett Rae. She was a great addition to this dance of ours.  As you can see from the pictures - they became best friends very quickly.

TC loved, loved, loved his family.  He was so proud of all of them even the ones who sometimes chose to do things he didn't understand - or things he understood too well but knew these choices would bring only sorrow to the family member.  I do believe the highlight of those years for him happened on his 70th birthday.  It was a surprise (he was a tough guy to surprise).  He danced with everyone, laughed, cried, asked for their forgiveness, listened to their stories about him, and had a night never to be forgotten.  Any chance he got he would get with his family and loved it when it was all about the music.  He would always smile when one of kids would say "we like to get together like this and have fun - we learned this from Daddy."


One of his most touching qualities was his willingness to accept my family members as if they were his own.  He would hug, tease, dance, lecture, teach any of them if they let him.  He changed the steps of the dance that my family danced as he ignored the shy, the scared, the anxious, the sick and just accepted them for who they were.  When my mother visited, we had a huge TV in our small living room.  She refused to watch it because "the people on there are bigger than me."  He teased her and pretty soon they were watching TV together.  

He loved vehicles - trucks, cars, vans, RV's, motor cycles.  We dated in his big yellow truck from his store.  A few months later he encouraged me to trade in my old college car and buy a Neon which we drove to Gatlinburg about a week or two later.

In 2007 he said that he had found the car for me because "it looks just like you".  When I saw this square box toaster of a car, I was highly insulted.  I still have that car and love it.  If I have to trade it in I will get another Scion Xb.  So I followed his lead and the dance continued.  In the last picture he was parked at Jacobson Park on the way out of the park.  He had just put his hat back on after standing by the car, holding hat in hand, and accepting change from strangers as they drove out - - and of course I took it from him and gave it back!   How could I not enjoy the dance with such a guy??





And then with very little warning, in the pre-dawn hours, our dance together ended.  Everything changed that day.  It was a living nightmare for a period of time.  But then I remembered our visits to cemeteries where he would say he wanted to die in his recliner, bed, or at the store in the night after a long day of work.  Apparently God heard his plan and decided it was okay because that's exactly what happened.  Thanks to Garth Brooks who wrote and sang these words:

Looking back on the memory of

The dance we shared 'neath the stars above

For a moment all the world was right

How could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye?

And now I'm glad I didn't know

The way it all would end, the way it all would go

Our lives are better left to chance

I could have missed the pain, 

but I'd have had to miss the dance.  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7FRbeaXjvk

IT'S MARCH AND THAT MEANS IT WILL SOON BE SPRING - THAT MEANS IT'S TIME TO SING.

Winter has been a challenge for this Kentucky Girl.

Spring is the other season that I plan to start seeing.  March means spring is here soon with promises: flowers of yellow, purple, and pink, sunshine, rain, rainbows and warm weather.  

Another promise - the grass will be back.

My sister Pat was
born in March

And Birthdays.

My two oldest grandchildren
Amber & Cameron were born
in March.  (their mom is between them)

Because March is here and that means it will soon be spring.

THREE OF THE C's OF LIFE

It is true.  I am retired.  It is nice.  I sleep late.  I goof off.   

So what's the problem?
Choices, Chances & Changes - yes, really.

Many of the choices that I have made in my life have been not because I wanted to make a choice but because I had to make a choice.  A financial crisis, serious illness, death of a loved one, bad choices of family members, working 1, 2, 3 jobs to pay bills and keep health insurance . . . need I go on?

Last May when Hospice of the Bluegrass laid off a number of social workers I chose to take the severance package and leave.  Retirement was on my mind, but I would have only made enough to cover my house payment had I drawn on myself.  But I went to the Social Security office to see what I would draw as Roger's widow.  Surprise - at the age of 62 (almost 63) I would make as much from widow's benefits as I would make if I continued to work until I was 70.  This wasn't a hard choice to make - I retired!

And to my surprise making choices probably more difficult now because I don't have to report to anyone about my choices.  So staying home all day because very easy.  No one really knows, do they?  I can stay pajamas all day, right?  I can eat what, when, where I want.  Ahhh - the freedom of making such simple choices.  

In January I realized that I am happiest when I am learning and experiencing new things.  In February I decided it was time to make more meaningful choices.  I chose to work on my budget, cut my expenses (still doing that), not teach at UK after this semester . . . making a choice that is all about chances and changes.  

Choice:  To begin the application process to serve a mission (Mormon Church)
Chance:  Leaving family, friends, familiar places and things and not choosing where I go but being willing to serve where I am called
Change:  New location, new people, new assignment, new rules

https://www.lds.org/callings/missionary?lang=eng

And, I shouldn't have to add this, but it is a really BIG leap of faith!