I love Buddy the elf. I love it that he said: "smiling is my favorite." Smiling is my favorite, too! Sometimes when I am feeling a little sad I smile - and I do feel better - sometimes a little better and sometimes lots better. I am practicing right now and I feel better! And that's the truth. 
I love Julie. She is the mama in this picture. Julie is a smiling hero to me! I see her at church on Sundays - usually from a distance - if she is not at home caring for her family or in the hospital for herself or another. When I see her she is smiling.
We have talked about this "smiling thing" we have in common. We agree that although others may not understand or believe us, we say there is always something to smile about. So we smile and like Buddy each of us might say "smiling is my favorite."
Julie's family has had to deal with more in a year or so than most of us face in a life time. With her permission I'm sharing a few things she has shared. The following quote is from Zoe's fundly site: "Last September, Justin was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease. February, Leukemia; March, daughter #3 was born; June, Julie was diagnosed with Eosinophilic Esophagitis (an immune disorder). The birth of the baby definitely brought new hope and happiness, and we are so thankful our second daughter is not medically burdened."
CLUTTER CONTROL
Justin and I went through financial difficulty for a couple of years due to job insecurity/unemployment/poor health etc, and during this time, when people would pass us handmedowns, I'd hold onto them so we'd have everything we needed no matter how long our hardship would last. I didn't say no to anyone offering us anything. Side note: I wouldn't wish unemployment on my worst enemy. Unemployment trumps cancer in the amount of fear in my every day life. Unemployment is pure hell. I mean Hell.
We are not facing the same financial challenges that we were facing then. We are secure enough now to buy a shirt if one of us needs a shirt. We can eat more than beans and rice. YET, I am still in survivalist mode. I have a hard time letting go of stuff. We have two closets, and both of those closets were filled to the brim with little girl clothes just in case. I kept books none of us read just in case we didn't have anything else in the world to do than read books we didn't even like. I kept toys that the girls didn't even play with just because I thought maybe they'd take interest if they had nothing else to do. I kept containers in case I needed a box to keep more stuff in. I kept movies even if I didn't approve. I kept food that I knew we wouldn't eat, even if we had to eat it. I kept pictures, frames, insulation, memories, empty photo albums, mismatched socks, scraps of fabric. I could keep going kinda like Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout who would not take the garbage out...
Two things have changed me completely.
1. Well, a month ago I had a breakthrough. This entire time, I was still accepting little girl clothes from my loved ones with the fear I won't be able to afford clothes for the girls. (A unfounded fear at this point) We had girl clothes in the closets, under beds, in the laundry room, lining our bedroom, and taking over my brain. A month ago, I decided that I was going to purchase some see through containers, and I would put two sizes in each container, and I was not allowed to keep anything else. If it didn't fit, it wasn't staying. With the size of bins that I chose, I thought I'd be able to fit everything I had. Boy was I fooled!! I have taken over 15 diaper boxes of little girl clothes out of this house from size 0 to size 6t. I have four bins, 6 outfits per size, neatly at the top of the girls dresser. I didn't NEED any of those clothes! Most of the clothes were NOT likely to actually be worn! And I certainly did NOT have storage space. And now I have like 5 times the storage space for OTHER STUFF that we ACTUALLY NEED like food storage! Water storage! survival gear! Who knows what I can put there, but the empty spaces are there!!
I was breaking my rules! And out it all went. And I feel SO FREE. Zoe has a bed that has 6 shelves underneath it, and I am even thinking of ridding us of this bed because what's the use of empty shelves? I could be using that space for food storage!
2. Toys...
If I take the girls toys to charity, I tell them about it. I don't sneak and do it because then they can't learn charity. I have so thoroughly taught them to get rid of what they don't use that they do it themselves now unprompted. Last year, we had too many toys and no storage for them, and toys covered over by clothes covered by toys, and it hit me that it was time. Half a year ago, I started with the toys. I asked them about their toys, and I asked them how they felt about them. I asked them what they thought about helping out kids who don't have toys. The first toy they were ready to part with was their riding horse, which scared the crap out of them at night. In this past half year, we have gotten rid of all of their toys. We don't need them, they never get used- the girls would rather play with a stick family who lives in mud, and we certainly had no storage since everything was covered over in clothes! They have learned so thoroughly to get rid of what they don't use that they will randomly get a bag, fill it up, and hand it to me saying, "We're done with these toys now" completely unprompted.
These two things were total road blocks for me. I felt incapable of getting anything else done because all I could think about was girl clothes and toys. I feel like the flood gates are open, and in the past week since returning home from the hospital, I have taken 10 more boxes of items to goodwill. I believe that before winter, I will not have a single item in my home that is not needed, does not have storage space, or won't be used within the next 6 months. This cleaning that I've been doing has even opened up my creativity again. I've been in a complete and total block since Zoe's cancer diagnosis, and I feel capable of loving what I do again. I have a long way to go yet. My table and my kitchen counters look like a grenade exploded, but the girls are happier having less things, I am happier, Justin will be when he can see the table lol, and I am energized to work.
These three assessment questions:
Do you need it
Do you have space for it
Do you really think you're gonna use it
